June 24th 2019 i saw two lines on a pregnancy test. I cried tears of joy in disbelief i was actually pregnant and i was actually going to have a baby. When i told Tyler, i was absolutely ecstatic.. so was he. As the days went on and i soon started to feel debilitating nausea, i questioned my love for this baby. As much as i hate to admit it, i feel like it’s an important detail to mention. I did love certain things with pregnancy but most of the time, i yearned to get her out and finally not feel so sick. ⠀
This moment is somewhat of a blur. She wasn’t breathing amazing and had a fever when she came out. These minutes of skin to skin were quick, busy and overwhelming. I just gave birth to a precious soul and the hustle and bustle in the room was unnoticeable to me. Even though i was exhausted and i don’t remember a lot of what happened after this, i do remember how i felt. ⠀
Accomplishment. ⠀
I did it. I grew and carried our child. ⠀
The times i cried for the pregnancy to hopefully fly by or knelt in prayer for 20 minutes asking for a healthy baby all came racing in my mind as they placed my baby on my chest. ⠀
I’ve never felt so fulfilled. I love those two lines on that test. I love this little baby and I’m proud of my body for doing something i didn’t all the time think it could do. ⠀
We did it baby girl 👊🏼